But I have promises to keep..

Stuff you already know, but is worth repeating in light of recent news..

2010-02-03T16:55:15Z

Life is short. The recent passing of someone my own age, suddenly and unexpectedly, is a grim reminder of that fact. While I believe that life is not a finite thing, but rather our infinite souls are temporarily housed within the confines of a finite vessel, I do feel it's important to not take time for granted.

Tell people you love them. Do it often. Forgive more. Both others and yourself. Do what makes you happy. Indulge in, and surround yourself with the people that make you happy. The people that make you a better person. Don't wait for Valentine's Day, or any other Hallmark holiday. Don't wait for when Kay Jewelers says it's the right time. Don't wait for the diamond, or the house, or the perfect moment. There are no perfect moments. Just moments, and you never know when you've come to your very last one.

And that's all I got to say about that I guess.

She puts the "fiend" in friend.

2010-01-07T14:50:50Z

A 9:37 AM
You need a single friend with benefits

Erin 9:37 AM
I'd rather nail my breasts to concrete.

A 9:37 AM
LOL nice visual

Erin 9:37 AM
I like to be concise.

A 9:38 AM
and graphic

Erin 9:38 AM
It helps.

A 9:39 AM
I like to cheer myself up by singing to woodland creatures

Erin 9:39 AM
You're a fucking liar. You know you cheer yourself up with martinis and red vines licorice.

A 9:39 AM
and kinky sex

Erin 9:40 AM
I suppose you could tie the candy together to make handcuffs

A 9:40 AM
sometimes, I bite off the ends of the red vines and suck the martini through it like a straw.

Erin 9:41 AM
You're awesome. Not only do you make me look moral by comparison, you're a kinky freak that touches gay men's testicles and drinks as much as I do.

A 9:41 AM
LMAO I'm pretty special, I have to admit that

Erin 9:42 AM
Besides. Girls like me need at least one friend that's an unscrupulous defense attorney.

Resolutions 2010

2010-01-03T17:20:25Z

1. No toxic relationships - I did pretty well in 09 with this, but there are still some that remain. In 2010 I hope to finally have the strength to move away from those and accept the fact some people can't be helped, and not everyone has good intentions. It's not a failure on my part in giving up on people that only want to hurt or use me.

2. See myself as others do - My friends (most of them) see me as the sum of my parts, not with the same analytical gaze I do. Fixating on flaws I can't change is counter productive. I am imperfect. So is everyone else. Even a butterfly under a microscope is ugly. If someone doesn't like my flaws? Well, go bark up someone else's tree then. I'm busy and got to keep on movin..

3. Forgive. - I make a conscious effort to be good about this, because it does not by any means come naturally. But people make mistakes, myself included, and people do change, again..myself included. Be open to that possibility, and forgive accordingly. Carrying around resentment only hurts me anyway.

4. Be open. - I suck at this. I know. I like my walls, and fuck you I am not taking them down. They're a bitch to put back up after you turn out to be a dickhead. I will however resolve to lower the drawbridge now and then if you leave the weapons outside.

5. Spend more time with friends. - I spent a lot more time with friends this year than I have in a very long time, and I'm glad I did. I want to keep doing that this year.

6. Maintain my health and fitness level. - This is kind of a given. Keep running. Keep avoiding crap.

7. Save money - I spend a lot of money on crap I don't need. Cut back.

8. Learn - If the opportunity presents itself, get back into pharmacy per diem. At my present job, keep looking to learn new skills, and take on new projects.

Dear Gym New Year's Resolutioners...

2010-01-02T16:55:13Z

Dear Gym New Year's Resolutioners,

Let's be honest. This month every year sucks for both of us. You and your hundreds of similarly minded friends drag yourselves reluctantly into the gym at peak hours. You grumble about the crowds. You don't wash off the machines you sweat all over. More importantly, you don't want to be there. You're a New Year's resolutioner. You made this resolution because a) After a month and a half of cookies and rich food, you were feeling fat in your New Years Eve cocktail dress, and b) You were drunk.

Your presence makes my life miserable too. You take up all the parking spots. You take up all the machines, going at a snail's pace, while reading Harry Potter and drinking a Starbuck's frappacinno.

Let's make 2010's New Year's Resolution something we can both enjoy. Just resolve to not go to the gym and spare yourself the misery. This in turn makes me less homicidal when I want to run and it also saves you your gym membership money, because let's face it..by February you're not going to step foot in this gym again anyway.

XOXO

Erin

Everything I've discovered about myself this year, I've learned from my cat.

2009-12-30T06:12:24Z

- Don't chase me. I'll hide under the bed.

- Climbing just because I can is a good enough reason to climb things.

- Napping in the sun IS a productive way to spend one's day, and you can't tell me otherwise.

- Sometimes I love you. Sometimes I just want the snack you're holding.

- If you don't want me to torture you, stop acting like a mouse.

- I realize I have a bed. I would rather sleep on you. Your cooperation is welcome but not necessary.

- If you hurt my feelings I will ignore you for a very long time. Except when I'm waking you up promptly at 5am by stepping on your face. Don't blame me, you brought this punishment upon yourself.

- Whatever ungraceful thing I did just then? It either didn't happen or I meant to do it.

- I'm not fat, I'm fluffy.

- If I don't like your boyfriend it won't be a mystery to you or him.

- I will do exactly as you say....until you leave the room.

- Just because I allow Person A to hug/squeeze/pet/me..does not mean Person B's attempt at doing so won't result in severe lacerations to the face.

- Thorough grooming is essential. Don't rush my hair routine.

Monday morning joke

2009-12-14T13:37:12Z

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and I'll answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

Gobbleslaying Palooza 2009

2009-11-30T02:03:49Z

The weekend started off great with Kearsley playing at Boston Gourmet, lots of friends, and 4 rum drinks. The next morning, not so great actually. Cooking hung over For The MotherFing Lose.
Saturday kicked off Gobbleslayer Palooza 2009. I made baked ziti, sausage and peppers, sweet and sour meatballs, lots of alcohol and of course..fire. Despite the fact the boulder that backs the firepit had a Flip factor of 8, there were no trips to the ER for burn treatment. Though Colin came close a couple times.

Some amusing moments of the evening..

Erin: I wonder if Jer got lost
Notsurewhosaiditbutitwasfunny: He's already here. You just can't see him. Cause he's a ninja.

Clifton: [Mocking the turkey balloons on the mailbox] It's the universal sign of part-ay ova heeeeeeaaaaaa!

Erin: Facebook status update...Flippy just wiped his ass on my arm.

Clifton: Rae Rae!
Erin: Imma cut you.

Erin: Are you flirtin with meeeeee :)
Sara: Uhhuh

Jer: I keep waiting for someone to announce "became a fan of anal" on facebook.

Kearsley: You know it would help if you were stupid..
Erin: *blinkblink*

Matt: I WANT MY MAN PARTS BACK!

Jer: I just made myself sick.

Erin: Maybe that's why he looked so angry. He had jizz in his pants.

AJ: So who are you playing with?
Erin: That's a loaded question..

[Sara and I sitting at the fire]
Jer: I hate you guys..[Jer walks away]
Sara: He'll be back. He's a masochist.

Good times. Nice seeing everyone. [:

"Kindness" —Naomi Shihab Nye

2009-11-28T14:44:07Z

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

What's Thanksgiving Eve without a gratuitous "What I am Thankful For" post?

2009-11-25T14:41:32Z

Things Erin is thankful for...in no particular order.

1. A job. Really. I get paid very well for a job that's pretty laid back, and while the company does a lot of things backasswards (typical of most corporate giants), my paycheck clears every two weeks and security card works every morning. I do a lot of tedious work, but I also get the go-ahead to pursue other things I normally wouldn't at another company. My co-workers are some of the best people I've ever had the pleasure of working with, and my bosses know if they give me a project and a deadline, it'll get done, and mostly don't bother me in between those two points. I count myself exceedingly fortunate in that respect, and hope I continue to be for a while to come.

2. Family. My family is pretty awesome. I don't get to see my family up in Massachusetts as often as I'd like, but facebook has given me the chance to keep in touch between holidays and weddings. Now if only we could get Nana and Grampy on here ;) My parents and step-parents all get along, which makes the holidays a lot less stressful, and I have a brother I can count on to have my back. As we get older, that becomes more and more important to me.

3. Friends. I've made a lot of sacrifices for friendship this year in a lot of areas of my life. It's given me a better perspective, and I think made me a person I feel I can respect again. It's important to me that my walking and my talking always go hand and hand. I've made a ridiculous amount of new friends this year, and maintained the older relationships dear to me as well.

4. Health. After many years of being unhealthy, and then the scare with my liver last year, I'm happy to be healthy. I still run three to five times a week, and I keep my crap food intake to a minimum. I'm not perfect, but I'm focused and I hope to remain that way. There's something about having a doctor look at you gravely while you're laying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines that changes your outlook on life a lot. I cut out a lot of the negative influences in my life. I try not to dwell on things out of my control. In a lot of ways I've been given a second chance, and I don't want to waste it.

5. Lessons. I've learned that everything in life is a lesson. If it doesn't kill you, there's something to be learned from it and when it sucks the most, that's when you should be paying very careful attention. Lessons suck hard, but they've made me stronger.

Good News Friday

2009-11-13T13:44:56Z

- It's Friday. That's good news I guess.
- I am going to the Apple Store tomorrow in hopes of getting my FUBAR phone fixed/replaced.
- I'm going to play with some sewing patterns this weekend.
- Maybe I can sleep in tomorrow morning? That'd be swell.
- I donated some food to our food drive this morning and as a result can wear jeans! Jeans I probably ought to try and hem this weekend.

My company is pretty good about charity stuff. My branch in particular especially I think. I got this email this morning from the General Manager:

Update: The message of giving thanks and helping those in need just keeps getting better!

When executive management heard our plans to support our local food banks again this month, they were impressed with your generosity to continuously help those less fortunate in our community.

Inspired by your willingness to help, KMBS will match the accumulated value of our food donations during the upcoming food drives. These matching donations will really help to stock up those food banks and make Thanksgiving enjoyable for all.

What a great company we work for with very caring employees.

As always, thank you for everything you do.

It's not Utopia here, but I am mighty thankful I have a well paying job, work that doesn't suck too much, awesome coworkers, and a company that is usually pretty fair when it comes to the treatment of its employees.

Have a nice weekend, kids.

Happy Birthday Walter

2009-11-09T13:06:29Z

"With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world."
- Helen Keller

My weekend was made up of boobs, kittens, donuts and the ranting of personal opinions. Whatchu' got?

2009-11-09T01:33:42Z

Somewhere between discussing whether or not a ginger kid's ass glowed and the tipping policy for zombie stripper babies, Jodi queried while laughing "What happened to you when you were small that made you so broken????" I really have no idea. Maybe it was the inordinate amount of time I spent in a hospital as a small child being poked with needles. Normal people's train of thought goes from A to B to C. In general, my own thought process is a constant seizure of A, Q, L, 12, Yahtzee!!! Hey a squirrel.

Saturday I went to visit the MJ camp, and play donut fairy to the kitchen kids. Jodi then surprised me around 11 with mint m&ms. Which were like crack. I'm fairly certain I'd do terrible immoral things for mint m&ms now. This might be a problem.

I got to peek at the FI game going on from back in the kitchen area, and it was pleasantly voyeuristic. There were a lot of space cowboys. A LOT. Hi I'm Mal. I'm Mal too. Well I'm Malcolm. I'm Jane. I'm Jayne. I'm Jaane. See my funny hat?
I loved Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica, but I've always been of the opinion if everyone else is doing it, it loses the cool factor. Popular culture sucks the uniqueness and spark out of everything.

I got to visit with Rachael, which was nice, I didn't see her a lot at faire and I enjoy her company very much. I also saw the lovely Amber, who was very busy with cast stuff but whose company I also enjoy immensely. The charming Fenton was there too of course, but was equally busy. We won't talk about the door to the cast area, and how many times I failed..epic failed in fact..at trying to open it. Door: 4 Erin 0. Very embarrassing.

A woman very thoughtfully showed me her boobs, ensuring that I did not miss out on National Wet Boobies Day. They weren't wet, but they were boobs. Nice ones too. I met another nice girl ...who did not show me her boobs, but when I introduced myself responded "Oh..YOU'RE Erin..". That's always a little disconcerting. I blame Richie, he's always talking smack about me. Bitch..

In other news, I will be at MJ:R in the spring, as a player. What character I will be arriving as however I'm still chewing on. I have a few offers, one of which is coming in as a little sister to some shady characters. I think that would be a fun scenario to play with. I have time to decide on that though. Whichever story avenue interests me the most will likely be the one I step into. I'm a sucker for a good back story. I need to stop reading the rule book before bed though. I keep dreaming of monsters as a result.

I met Minion this weekend too. I didn't expect her to be so small still. She's very itty bitty. Much like me, if you sit quietly, she will come visit you of her own accord. Forcefully try and pick her up and drag her anywhere, she'll cut your fool ass. I can appreciate that philosophy.

Brian's kitchen staff? Nice kids. But after playing round robin with the pictures on Richie's phone Saturday night, all I can say is them boys ain't right.

Matty did not show Saturday. I hate his face. :0P

Today (Sunday) I did all the things I intended to do Saturday: errands, cleaned, went to the gym, ran. It was beautiful out today.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And since I can't end a post lately without rambling about something that's been on my mind, I think today I'll discuss polyamorous relationships.

It's not the first time I've talked about it in my blog, but it is the first time my opinions have been broadcast to facebook. It's not a secret I am not in any way, shape, or form, poly. How do I know this? Because I've been in a poly relationship before. I'll try almost anything before saying "Nope, that sucked hard, not doing that again."

For some people it works fabulously, as many of my friends in successful relationships of that sort can attest. During my time in a relationship and around numerous people in functional ones, I've learned quite a bit.

- First and foremost, if you're going to nose dive into this sort of thing..you can't do it because your marriage is going to hell and you think letting your husband or wife shag something on the side is going to save it. A poorly planned poly detour is like putting antifreeze in your kid's sippy cup. Sweet until the seizures kick in.

- Second, you need some amazing self-esteem and a personality that is conducive to the arrangement. Really. Don't fool yourself. You'll regret it later. Not everyone is capable.

- Honesty. Both parties need to agree. If you're poly and your husband is just confused, then you're not poly, you're just a damn whore. No excuses.

- Communication. If something is bugging you, you need to talk about it pronto. Don't text it. Don't post emo music videos on your facebook in hopes Natalie Merchant will say what you're feeling to your partner. Communicate like an adult or you're doomed.

- Respect. For yourself, your partner, and the people you're going to drag down the yellow brick road with you by the giblets.

Most poly relationships are hierarchal in nature. There's a primary (alpha) relationship, then secondary (beta), so and so forth. If you're a beta, you need to realize and accept that you are in fact beta. While you may be much loved, you are not the alpha relationship. Period. It is what it is, and if you can't handle the hierarchy, you don't belong in a poly relationship. Everyone knowing their role, being okay with it, and respecting other people's place in the structure is what keeps it stable. It's a delicate balance of honesty, communication and respect. Don't play Jenga with people's hearts.

Poly relationships especially amongst the faire community appears to be all the rage. Maybe I just never noticed before. As a result I see a lot of misrepresentation of what it is and what it is not. It is not an excuse to cheat on your spouse. It is not going to save a crappy relationship. It's also not going to be easy. Even in a set up that looks to the observer, very open and free, there are always rules. These rules are critical and cardinal to the health of the primary relationship and the sub-relationships as well. It's a lot more complex than it looks, and there's always a lot at stake.

If you can't manage the reality of the lifestyle, don't do it. You can, or your can't.
I can't. While I'm not particularly jealous, I am competitive, and if you tell me I'm Girl B, I'm going to immediately start planning Girl A's demise. It's nothing personal, but I want what I want, and I will not be averse to smothering you with a pillow to get it. Likewise if I'm Girl A and Girl B is kinda hot I'm going to smother the competition with a pillow too. Thus, I do not belong in a poly relationship, and I have respect enough for myself, the people I care for, and the lifestyle, to admit that. If you can't roll with it for whatever reason, so should you.

And that's all I got to say on that for now. Have a great week, kids!

Good News Friday

2009-11-06T18:32:04Z

- It's Friday! That alone is good news.
- It's pay day.
- I am finally caught up on the documents that got dumped on me like a bad re-enactment of 2girls1cup in November of 2008. Here's 300 documents, and you'll be getting about 30 or 50 more a month from this point onward. Good luck with that, Skipper. Today I finished the last of the backlog and the current ones. I celebrated with soup for lunch. Now onto my other 5 unrelated projects...
- I get to sleep in tomorrow. I have nothing planned this weekend. NOTHING. Except the gym of course, grocery shopping, and cleaning. Other than that though, I can sleep. Sweet, sweet, sleep. Zzzzzzzzz.
- I'm employed. What's not to like about that when unemployment has risen to 10.2(?)%.
- Assuming I get to move into where I want to move into in March, I may get a puppy. I kind of want a mini dachshund like Otto, but I'll probably end up at the local animal shelter looking for someone that needs me. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
- The weather is going to be pretty nice this weekend. I'll take it.

An Invective Against Wusses

2009-11-05T14:26:24Z

No one ever said life would be hard. Of course, no one ever said life would be easy either there, Princess.

See, I can understand being mad when you leave the tire store and your four tires suddenly roll off because no one put lug-nuts on. I can sympathize if you throw a fit because Bank of America screwed up your automatic deposit and never told you until you were at a concert and as a result the ATM machine told you that you wouldn't be leaving with a JoBro t-shirt. I can even understand getting annoyed at rush hour, the guy at Dunkin Donuts who waits until he gets to the front of the line to THINK about what he wants, and people that wear crocs. I get that.

I don't get people that freak the fuck out. I'm talking about the guy that finds out his local coffee shop ran out of donuts and crawls through the drive-thru with a screw driver. The ones that don't get annoyed by life's little inconveniences, they are completely and utterly crippled by them. I remember one Christmas at the mall years ago, a woman stood in line in front of a McDonald's and was wringing her hands. She seemed noticeably vexed, and like most vexed people sighed, and shifted, and fidgeted, and sighed, and looked around, and then finally exclaimed "THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"

I was suddenly equally horrified, not at the length of time it would take me to get my trans-fats on a bun, but at what actually came out of her mouth. At the time, I lacked the filter I have now (Dan gave me this filter..you can thank him), and turned to the lady appalled, "You should thank whatever God you believe in that a long line at McDonald's is the worst thing you've ever seen, Lady." She glared, but said nothing, and went back to gnashing her teeth and eyeing other people's lunch panic stricken.

I've seen people lose their minds over sandwich toppings, toilet paper ply, and even sale items. "WHAT do you MEAN the coupon is expired! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"
For the love of Christ, it's a 50 cent coupon. Here's a dollar, shut up and go home.

Is it that we've been conditioned to be so comfortable these days we find minor discomforts completely unraveling? We've got our Dr. Scholl's inserts, ear thermometers, lidocaine patches so we don't feel anything when we get shots, our candy coated medicine cups, our drive thrus, delivery pizzas, chairs that will literally lift us off our damn asses, and jars that combine peanut butter AND jelly so we don't have to exert the energy in opening two. I believe the downfall of civilization can largely be explained in Uncle Ben's "Ready Rice". Ready Rice..it comes in a the same kind of bag your cat's tuna vittles does, and it has the same texture (coincidence? I think not..). You just dump it in a bowl and put it in the microwave for a few seconds. Minute rice was ENTIRELY too fucking long to wait, I need ready rice NOW. I'm totally missing Biggest Loser waiting for my damn rice to ..yanno..cook, when I could be sitting in my chair eating my "Gogurt", my "Ready Rice" and my sports drink with crucial electrolytes.

Forget exercise, everyone's waiting for a pill, or a magic diet that will allow you to lose 100lbs in the span of a week. Exercise is so uncomfortable. You're all sweating, and out of breath, and it eats into the time you could be eating your Ready Rice in your chair.

Children have to be entertained to learn now. Every educational tool and program is about how to make learning more "fun" so your kid will want to do it. It's not their responsibility anymore. When your kid is a brat, or flunks, it's always "Oh he was bored". It's on the teachers to make learning exciting, and as painless as possible. Remember when fear of being bludgeoned by your mother for a crappy report card was reason enough to pay attention? Meanwhile kids in other countries are chomping at the bit to just be given the chance to go to school. Sitting in cramped nasty school houses for hours and hours, walking miles, and working when they get home too.

The United States was made up of some of the strongest people from every culture. The kind of people that dealt with the monumental suck of immigration knowing that some day, things would get better down the road if they worked hard enough. I have pictures of my grandfather standing on the beach at Normandy. D-Day sucked. The fact the bun on your cheeseburger wasn't properly toasted? Not so much.

Suck it up, Sally.

You've Got To Burn to Shine..

2009-11-04T18:08:05Z

So, since most people I know are on facebook, I've started importing public posts from here over to there. Of course, most of my stuff is not public, and there's a good reason for that. But what the hell, I'm not Joe Lieberman, I'll give people a public option.

Not much new in my neighborhood. Halloween has come and gone. I took my baby sister trick or treating. She was a witch, appropriate for the women in our family I suppose. I then headed off in a nurse costume of questionable virtues to see Kearsley play in Manchester. Alas, Kearsley had been canceled, and rather than give the rat bastards our money, we found somewhere else to eat, drink, and be merry. Some of us more "merry" than others...

Our waiter was flamingly gay, and by flamingly gay I mean if he was any gayer he'd have bent Rich over the table and rode him like a confused Shetland pony. Rich of course was asking for it, with his equally flamingly gay cowboy costume. Proving that God does indeed exist and have a sense of humor, said gay waiter believed Rich and Marc were a "couple". That alone made my night.

Brian went reverse trick or treating (forcing candy on other people), but classed it up a bit by not in fact keeping a candy jar in his pants which would have been my first suggestion. Had it been my idea at all, I'd have filled said bag with candy, situated said bag just over the crotch area, and inserted a dildo in the bag (you know..the kind with the suction cup bottom? Shut up, you know what I'm talking about. Don't lie.) So when random chicks reached into the bag they'd be greeted by a large rubber phallus. Or maybe that would just be funny until we got thrown out or someone's angry boyfriend crushed Brian's skull. Hm.

But I digress. The food was okay. But either I'm turning into Greg, or the drinks were not strong. Despite my best efforts, I didn't even manage a buzz. I need harder liquor apparently, and let's face it harder is always better. AJ however was inebriated enough that she was licking the glass and demanding protein from a table of men. She may have forgotten that incident, but I did not. Oh no, I most certainly did not and I did promise to mention it. I'm nothing if not a woman of my word.

Then she asked..the question. I hate the question. But I love AJ, and she was "indisposed" so really, she was not to blame for anything that came out of (or went into) her mouth that evening. "Why are you single?" It's often meant well, but how do you honestly answer that? It's "What the fuck is wrong with you?" in friendly pajamas. It makes me want to answer with creative things like "My enormous penis scares men away" or "It must be my collection of animal heads that is off putting." I'm single for a lot of reasons, not the least of which being, I'm difficult to get along with, Columbus.

"Is it because you're smarter than them?"
"That could be it, AJ."

And upon such, the Celtic new year was born again. Time to shake off the ash.

For those it may concern, interest, or dismay...

2009-10-21T01:29:10Z

I have resigned from my positions with CTRF management. Personal email should go to klkaigev@aol.com from now on and all questions regarding faire business directed to Brian Harvard (brian@ctfaire.com).

To the merchants, the indies, and staff of The Connecticut Renaissance Faire, I'd like to express what a pleasure it has been to work with you all over the last six years. I wish everyone much success in the future.

And if the idea of not seeing me anymore at the faire horrifies you (as well it should!), fret not, you can find me in the 2010 season at O'Connor and McCullough's Hitting and Stabbing Emporium.

See you all next year!

Save a Puppy

2009-03-19T15:44:53Z

Gina sent this to me, from a friend of her's, and asked that I pass it around here. I'll keep the entry unlocked in case some of you want to show friends that might be looking for a good dog.

-------Original Message-------

From: Tara.Mendez@Avon.com
Date: 3/19/2009 10:58:18 AM
To: lisastarrynight@optonline.net
Subject: DOG IN THE HARTFORD CT. POUND

Hey Lisa,

I am trying to save this dog. The women I know in this shelter says he is
awesome and does not deserve to die. She reaches out to me only with very
special dogs. Do you have any contacts that could rescue him. I would
gladly transport him. Please let me know.

Kind regards,
Tara Mendez
845-369-2956
Consumer Sciences
Avon Products Inc.
----- Forwarded by Tara Mendez/SUF/US/Avon on 03/19/2009 10:54 AM -----

Tara
Mendez/SUF/US/Avo
n To
eleventhhrrescue@aol.com

Please let me know if you can help him. I can transport him.

Kind regards,
Tara Mendez
845-369-2956
Consumer Sciences
Avon Products Inc.
----- Forwarded by Tara Mendez/SUF/US/Avon on 03/19/2009 08:51 AM -----

tie82@sbcglobal.net>, "Donna Duda"
<donnaduda@hotmail.com>
Date: Wednesday, March 18, 2009, 8:12 PM

WWW.CITYOFHARTFORD.PETFINDER.COM
239 MAPLE HILL AVE. NEWINGTON CT

#386 AMERICAN PITBULLX MALE 2YRS. APPROX. 80LBS
This boys time is running out.. His legal day is today but WILL be held until
friday..
Why?? He deserves to live.. He deserves a chance to find a safe place, a place to
call home!!

He is an awsome dog.. Has a great personality. He is very friendly, affectionate,
great on leash, good with other dogs.
He has a very goofy side and LOVES to give kisses..
Just look at his face!! His personality is truely seen in his eyes..
PLEASE help this boy!!! His time is running out.. He cant be held past Friday!!

If you can help, PLEASE email Sherry at pizon67@yahoo.com or call her 860-305-6764

Warning if you use Checkfree

2008-12-11T15:51:12Z

http://cyberinsecure.com/checkfree-online-payment-site-hijacked-by-criminals-users-redirected-to-rogue-server/

Eesh

2008-10-22T20:02:09Z

Markets are down again

Markets »
Updated: 3:40 pm ET, October 22
-626.91
(-6.94%)
Dow 8,406.75

-100.60
(-5.93%)
Nasdaq 1,596.08

-71.50
(-7.49%)
S&P 883.55

An invective against birthday dinners.

2008-10-22T19:22:05Z

http://www.slate.com/id/2202646

"Seems like a nice idea, the birthday dinner. It is not. It is a tedious, wretched affair. It is also an extravagantly expensive one. In these wintry economic times, we need to scale back. I hereby propose that the birthday dinner go the way of the $4 cup of coffee, the liar's mortgage, and the midsize banking institution." - Happy Birthday, You Bastard
Under no circumstances will I be attending your stupid birthday dinner.

Dance Class

2008-10-22T18:44:06Z

I can't find any classes that teach pole dancing (or ahem..pole "aerobics") anywhere closer than Boston or Southern Connecticut. Apparently that's where all the hoochies are or something.

Anyway..I'm settling for taking a belly dance class. I emailed a place in worcester. So I guess we'll see. It's amazing how difficult it is to find dance classes that aren't in the middle of the day or an hour away. Lord. If the worcester spot doesn't work, there's a place in Holyoke too.

Um..

2008-10-22T17:36:18Z

Dear Tool,

No I will not re-write Onyx's asp code. You can wait for Corky to get back from Japan.

Hugs and Kisses,

Corporate Minion

C is for Cookie..and Cannibalism?

2008-10-22T13:28:07Z

So at the gym last night, I was watching the news, and this commercial comes on. It's for some diet plan where you eat cookies. I've heard of it before, but this is the first time I've seen a commercial for it.

They were boasting about how you simply replace breakfast and lunch with one of their silver dollar sized cookies every day, and how much money you'll save on food because all you eat every fucking day is one tiny cookie for two of your meals.

Fantastic! I'd save a ton of money, and then hopefully have enough saved to post bail when on day 2 of the diet I kill every fucking person within a 15 mile radius of me.

I'll stick with eating sensibly. Yeesh.

Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

2008-10-22T11:30:57Z

Rejection letter attachments?

2008-10-22T02:35:16Z

I vote we include copies of this with the letters.